new moon rising
by cyanoscarlet
Summary: she was a misfortune to the one she loved most. /cykesquill east asian au.


Kokone was born on the night of the new moon. Many of the royal astrologers despaired at this bad omen - this child would bring misfortune to the Royal House of Kizuki. But her mother, Queen Mari, would not heed the words of the wizened old fools scrying in water mirrors. She believed her daughter will be a joy and blessing to those around her.

At age eleven, Princess Kokone had almost everything she wanted - cute looks, brightly colored clothes, valuable stones. As the only daughter of the Royal Family, she was highly favored by the nobility and members of the court. She loved to mix and match the pieces of her ever-expanding wardrobe, sent by the other noble clans as gifts.

Sometimes her friend Shinobu would come play with her. Shinobu was the granddaughter of Kokone's attendant, but the two never let rank get in the way of their friendship. They'd often run around the mountain side, playing hide and seek. When they got tired, they would just sit down and talk about stuff. The topics were mainly about palace gossip, and the new visitors from other lands Queen Mari received daily.

Princess Kokone would feel sad whenever she thought of her mother. Ever since Queen Mari ascended the Lunar Throne, she threw herself into her work, seeking to continue the legacy of her husband, the late King. She would often work late into the night in advancing the industrialization of their kingdom. In this endeavor, she was advised and assisted by her husband's chief minister Ban Gozou, and Lady Kaguya of the Yugami clan.

Lady Kaguya's younger brother, Lord Jin, often accompanied his sister on these visits to the royal capital, as an escort of sorts. At first, Kokone was afraid of the man, tall, silent, imposing. He often stood outside the Queen's private study whenever she and his older sister had their meetings, refusing to talk to anyone. Queen Mari would often tease him, coaxing him to not be so stiff. Eventually, he did open up, accepting invitation to tea, talking more about their home life (much to Lady Kaguya's chagrin), and once engaging in a sparring session with the Queen.

The match was a friendly one, but it seemed to be everything but as both sides fiercely gave their all. Princess Kokone was awestruck as Jin and her mother crossed swords, swift movements, dancing blades. It was the first time she felt more intrigue than fear for the man.

After Jin yielded and the crowd dispersed, she slowly approached him and called out in a meek voice. He'd answered with a deep, gentle voice betraying his intimidating visage, and Kokone beamed at the sound of her name. It was a first meeting to cherish.

Succeeding days found Princess Kokone visiting the throne room more often, where Jin now stood at Queen Mari's side, having been personally appointed as her personal guard. Whenever her mother was not receiving visitors and foreign envoys, Kokone would emerge from her hiding spot behind the pillars and ask Jin to play. One time, she even brought Shinobu over to introduce her new friend, but the poor, shy girl had almost fainted in terror. Shinobu eventually warmed up to Jin when he allowed her to put flowers in his hair upon Kokone's insistence. Queen Mari and Lady Kaguya had laughed loudly at the embarrassing state the young, imposing vassal was put in.

It was all perfect. Kokone was happy. But alas, this happiness would not last.

The little princess looked for her mother one moonless night. She noticed something strange from afar - the private study, which was supposed to be still lighted at this time was pitch dark. There were no guards at the door, either. Something was very wrong.

Alarmed, she ran faster, faster, f _aster._ In her hurry, she bumped into a tall bulky figure, wearing a strange mask. The suspicious man lowered his face and took off faster at the sight of her. But no matter, she had to go to her mother now and see if she's safe.

Kokone was greeted by the sight of blood. It was everywhere, on the floor, on the scrolls, _everywhere_. With a cry, the princess approached her mother. The Queen did not respond to her daughter shaking away at her forearm. Her eyes were wide open, reflecting no light, lacking the infectious bright shine they used to have. On the floor beside them was a long sword. Kokone picked it up in a daze, her gaze alternating between the blood on the blade and the large gaping wound in her mother's torso, the red liquid staining her royal robes.

 _No, no, this was not real. It must_ not _be real._

Kokone vaguely recalled was being picked up by a familiar figure, the sword pried out of her tight grasp. They were surrounded by guards, guards everywhere. Then someone - a minister, ordered her companion arrested. But he snarled in defiance, swearing that he'll never be caught. Thus she was carried out, but she did not know where.

The next thing she knew, she was dropped in a more rural area, her companion pleading the mistress of the house to take care of her before finally running off into the darkness. Kokone was catatonic, her life, her home, everything was gone in just one night. She wanted her mother. She wanted Jin. _She -_

Kokone felt a stinging sensation on her cheek, bringing her back to her senses. Before her was Lady Kaguya, hand raised, angry and in tears. Every word that fell from her lips was filled with grief and spite.

 _The Queen is dead,_ Kaguya said flatly. _Jin was accused by Minister Ban of murdering her. He brought you here and ran away. He has disgraced the Yugami Clan, and will never return anymore._

Still in shock, Kokone said nothing, prompting Kaguya to grab her by the collar of her royal robes.

 _Don't you understand, Princess? Jin had to look for you, and just his luck, you were there!_ The Lady bitterly hissed out, stressing the last word. _It's all because of you! You're the reason my brother is gone!_

And then she burst into tears. Kokone had never seen Lady Kaguya cry, but as the older woman poured her grieving heart out, the little princess knew not whether to say anything at all, so she merely kept silent.

Over the next few days, Kokone learned to do things around the manor. She now wore simple work clothes - yellow, the last odd outfit that fit her, as the rest were too big. She did the housekeeping, cooking, cleaning. Despite the radical change in lifestyle, Kokone would always smile and show her eagerness to learn. She charmed all the maids and became friends with all of them.

But at night, when she was finally alone, Kokone would cry herself to sleep. She berated herself for letting her mother die, for letting Jin turn fugitive as he took the fall like a common criminal, for letting Lady Kaguya mourn her brother's loss and fall from grace. It was all _her fault_.

Months passed. Despite maintaining a outward cheerful demeanor, Kokone grew weak and emaciated from all the work and stress. Her days of hardship and labor grew longer and longer with each passing moon. Her nightly dreams were still tainted with the horror of that moonless night many days ago. She wanted to give up. Nay, she was more than ready to give up. But her mother wouldn't want that. _Jin_ wouldn't want that.

And so she pressed on.

Seven years passed. Kokone had blossomed into a energetic young lady. She was now more or less a permanent fixture in the Yugami manor, doing house chores and the occasional art work to brighten up the place. She even made herself another yellow dress.

Kaguya still refused to speak with her, but Kokone has long accepted it by now. Maybe they weren't meant to reconcile at all. For now, she was contented in repaying the Lady's generosity in taking her under her wing at her greatest moment of need, even though she lived there as a servant and not as the princess she used to be. Perhaps she'd spend the rest of her life repaying her debt of gratitude, but it mattered not anymore. The Royal House of Kizuki was no more, just as she deserved; now she had all the time in the world to atone for her mistakes.

Then she heard the news - it was a small, suppressed gossip among the guards: Lord Jin was spotted alive, it seemed. Near the Ayasato clan's land. The Royal army was already dispatched there by the new King Ban Gozou. He would be killed on sight.

Kokone froze. _No… No! Jin!..._

She had to save him. But _how_? And what after?

An idea came to her over the next day. Lady Kaguya was due to visit the royal capital in three days. She could make her escape during that time and find Jin. Bring him home. Tend to his wounds.

A spark filled her eyes, a burning fire of determination filled her heart. She could do this. She was a fast runner. She had great endurance. All these years of harsh living and suffering - it all led up to this day. She now had a purpose. She _had_ to succeed.

When the appointed time came, Kokone waited for Lady Kaguya's carriage to disappear in the distance, before donning a nondescript cloak and a short knife around her waist, and slipping out the side gates. She made her way eastward, crossing five rivers and climbing two mountains. Her body had all the injuries to show for it, but nothing mattered as long as Jin was safe in her arms.

She finally reached the Ayasato's land after three days of walking. But the next problem struck her - she knew not how to look for Jin in the vast forestry alone. She feared going into Kurain village to ask; they might alert the royal army instead. Kokone continued wandering the green wildlands, praying that she find Jin soon.

Kokone's movements slowed as she neared the village borders. There were now people other than her wandering the forest. She must not be found at all costs. _But what of Jin?_ She started to fear the worst, that the person she loved had already been caught in the sweet time she took wandering around.

Kokone stopped short. Since when has she thought of Jin that way? I-it was impossible. She'd only been with him a short time, and hadn't seen him since seven years ago. But Kokone knew her own heart well. The feeling was unshakable, undeniable.

The realization left Kokone in a daze, leaving her wide open in a short moment of weakness. A man with a farmer's hat immediately approached her, grabbing her knife out of her belt and holding it to her neck. Kokone's instincts kicked in, and she ducked under the man, escaping his grip. She sent a fist flying upwards to under the man's chin, and immediately subdued him as he fell backwards.

Kokone's eyes widened as the hat fell off the man's head, revealing none other but Jin himself. The former Lord Yugami was practically unrecognizable, now sporting a long unkempt black mane, a large patch of white hair framing the right side of his face. His dress was in tatters, but she recognized it as the same clothes he had worn that fateful night seven years ago. But most shocking to her was his eyes - those gentle, gray irises shining with playfulness when Shinobu crowned his head with flowers, were now dulled by years of suffering and disgrace. Black lines outlined the bags on the underside of his eyes, further tracing downward up to the high bones of his cheeks.

Kokone was speechless with shock, and her initial surprise gave way to tear-filled joy. Finally, after so long… She reached out to touch his face, but was surprised when he suddenly harshly slapped her hand away.

 _I don't need a stranger's pity_ , Jin snapped at her. _If money or food you have none to give, don't even bother._

Was this really him? Tears filled Kokone's eyes. _What have the past seven years done to you? What have I done to you?_

She wished she could say it out loud, ask Jin so many things, but the steely glare she never thought he'd possessed scared her more than she could admit. He's changed so much.

She could only croak out a single word. _Why?…_

 _My circumstances are none of your business,_ he answered gruffly. _If you understand that much, then get the hell off me and get lost._

Kokone immediately scrambled off Jin and turned around, a deep red tinting her cheeks. However, she did not move an inch from her spot.

They both stayed that way for a few minutes, until the dull beating of drumss and gongs could be heard from the distance. Alarmed, Jin immediately took Kokone's hand and ran into the thick of the forest, navigating the path as if he'd memorized it. Jin never looked back at her even once.

Kokone watched Jin's black mane flow behind him as they ran, and looked down at their linked hands. Though his demeanor may have drastically changed, he still showed her he cared. She smiled inwardly at the thought. Perhaps this will have to do for now.

After a long, long run, they finally stopped at the base of the mountain that was the outer border of the Ayasato's land. Jin promptly let go of Kokone's hand.

 _This is as far as I go. Return the way you came, and never leave again. Understood?_

Tears prickling at the corner of her eyes, Kokone could do nothing but nod silently. She could not meet his eyes.

Jin hummed in approval. _Well then, I have someplace else to be. Farewell._ And he returned into the thick of the forest, taking a different route from how they arrived.

Kokone's feet remained glued where she stood, and she watched as Jin hastily fled from the clearing - _from her_ \- into the dark of night, and she'd never be able to see him again. She looked up into the night sky. It was clear out tonight, the new moon rising. The tears she held back all this time finally fell in earnest, as she wept for the friend she'd failed to save, for a love unreturned, for the man she'd found but now had lost forever.


End file.
